My tachometer is broken.

I guess first things first...what's a tachometer?  For those unfamiliar with all of the little measuring instruments on the dash of your car that tell you what your engine is doing, the tachometer is the one that gives you the rpm (or revolutions per minute) your engine is making...granted there's a lot more that goes into it than that.  On average, your tachometer's needle should be resting somewhere between 2 and 3 for optimal running of the engine.  Well, mine doesn't do that.  Instead, the needle on my tachometer has rotated all the way around dial and is now measuring backwards, or counter-clockwise.  This used to be fine, when all I had to do was estimate the distance between 0 and 2.5 on the dial and flip that measurement to the other side of the starting point to see how my car's engine was actually functioning.  For the most part, it was fine, and I could estimate that the 2-3 inch arch was measuring correctly on the opposite side of the dial, in the wrong direction.  It worked.  But recently, the needle has been sporadic, swinging back and forth and never really settling anywhere.  Even more unfortunate, and initially worrying, when it does hold steady, it's actually shaking over "the red".

Perhaps, you're wondering why I'm telling you this.  Well, I had a revelation last week on my drive into the city that my tachometer shows a little bit of how my life feels.  So before, while my tachometer was working, only backwards, I knew that it was wasn't right, but at least I could gauge what it was saying.  At least it made sense.  But what am I to do with a stupid needle that can't hold still, that won't really tell me anything except that it's broken???  Unsettled and swinging sporadically on the wrong side of the meter, that need is leading me nowhere, and even more unsettling are the (too) occasional seizures it has over "the red".  Am I burning rubber in the wrong place and over-heating?  Time will tell.  The important thing to remember, I suppose, is that while I tachometer doesn't work, my car still does.  In other words, while I'm out of sorts and unsettled, my life still functions.  And just as my car can go in many different directions that can lead to an exponential number of destinations, my life can do the same.  It's the turns, detours, stops, and starts that determine my path - a path that is defined by the experiences along the way.  So where's my next turn?

And while I'm on a car/life analogy kick, I'll mention that one of the meters on my dash that does still work is the odometer - you know, the one that tells you how are you've traveled.  Interestingly, while it always tells us how far we've come, what it can't do is tell us how much farther we have to go.  So, I will drive on...

Still Alive.

Yes, I am aware it's been 6 months since I've posted. No, it's not still snowing in Edinburgh. So the update is that I completed the work for my master's degree, spent my summer writing my dissertation, and I am now back in Atlanta awaiting the results of my work. I even found time to go to Belfast, Italy, and the Highlands before returning home. But in the mean time, I'm going through my old stuff, throwing things away and donating old memories and forgotten gifts for the liberatingly cathartic embrace of these actions. Intermittent breaks include The Doctors over a cup of coffee (or 4) and crime dramas over a glass of wine. Occasionally, I'll find myself tickling the ivories, writing down impressively deep thoughts, or considering the job search. I'm even beginning to reintroduce myself to society by going to the park, joining the gym, and slowing contacting old friends to meet up with. At the moment, life is life. I suppose now it's a matter of deciding in which direction the story will continue. I'll try and keep you updated. Over and out.

Snow, snow, go away...

It's March 12, and I'm sitting here in Starbucks on St. Patrick St. (Oy, that's funny...abbreviations for saint & street...) looking out the window at the snow falling, covering the roofs of buildings with a soft white sheet and the roads with slippery gray slush. The faces of snow. However delightful some may be, at this point, I'd like them all to go away & let the sun come back out. Two days ago, on my walk up to the University, I felt like I'd traversed through all the climates of the world. As I stepped out of my flat, the sun was shining & all seemed well enough. As I turned the corner to my street, the clouds zoomed in & began to spit little drops of water on me, which soon turned into sleet & snow, which we in Atlanta like to call wintry mix (snow doesn't tend to grace the city much with its presence, and when it does, the city doesn't respond so gracefully). And then I turned the corner to the main street to take me up to uni. Clouds still overhead, I couldn't see a break, a mere glimpse of blue sky behind the gloom. And then, oh and then...hail. Yes, I began getting a beating by little pebbles of ice. Ouch. Worst part is, I didn't have a hood. I realize this might have been a silly decision on my part, but the sun was out! Well, I ducked my head hoping not to collide with anything, living or not, on my way up the road, and the all the sudden, it stops. Everything. I look up, and ahead of me, the skies are blue. Really? I think I counted 2 clouds in the sky. So along I walked, unzipping my jacket because the warmth of the sun made my layers unnecessary. From sun to hail and back to sun within a span of 10 minutes. Not quite sure I can get used to this. I'm just waiting for spring to really come: sunshine, beautiful flowers covering the ground, weather that doesn't require sweaters, scarves, and rain boots. Last week's spring tease was nice, but a tease was all it was. I really looking forward to the real thing.

But no worries, there's more to my life than just the weather. My second semester is coming to an end. Next week is my last week for 3 of my classes, & I have one more week after that of my philosophy course. It's been a really interesting semester, actually. I had no idea policy could actually be interesting. Well, I did, but the legalities and politics behind it have frustrated me and deterred me from it in the past. I'm still not sure I've come to a conclusion about it, but at least I've dipped in my big toe, perhaps even my foot, to get a feel for it. I might even go in as deep as my knee in order to write my final assessment for the course. I gave a presentation this past week in my Philosophical Foundations of Education class on what Hannah Arendt says about education's role in the renewal of society. There's some interesting stuff. Ponder this one: "Education is the point at which we decide whether we love the world enough to assume responsibility for it and by the same token save it from the ruin that which, except for renewal, except for the coming of the new and young, would be inevitable...and education, too, is where we decide whether we love our children enough not to expel them from our world and leave them to their own devices, not to strike from their hands the chance of undertaking something new, something unforeseen by us, but to prepare them in advance for the task of renewing a common world." So then, what's the answer? Even more interesting, she was writing this stuff about the crisis of education in America...in 1954. My question is, what would she say now?

In other news, the University Symphony concert is coming up this next Friday. It should be pretty good. We're playing Shostakovich's Symphony No. 10 and Neilson's Aladdin Suite, both good pieces, and if I'm not mistaken, we're playing the Pines of Rome next concert in May. It'll be nice to expand my repertoire with that one. I had some friends over to mine on Thursday for a pizza-making party, which was good fun. Heading to another friend's tonight for a pizza and movie night. Saw a film at the cinema and went to a ceilidh last night and am booked nearly every night this next week in the evenings with rehearsals, concerts, etc. It's going to be busy, but at least if won't give me a chance to be lazy, right?

Alas, it seems I've procrastinated enough. I have books to read and assignments to consider, not to mention those pesky little chores that need to happen occasionally to keep up with life. Off I go into the land of big words and smart thoughts. Here's to hoping I'll be able to find my way out a bit later! Cheers!

Life Continues...

It’s been ages, I know. Can I claim busyness? So since I haven’t updated anything since before Christmas, perhaps let’s have a brief timeline of the last 2 and a half months of my life:

Christmas holiday – I had a really good time back home with friends and family. It was good to see everyone I could again, went to a couple of weddings, and did a lot of work on an essay I had due just after I arrived back in Edinburgh in January. Details of Christmas break, perhaps, aren’t important; most importantly, it was good.

My return to Edinburgh – It snowed again, the day after I arrived back. Ugh, I was so tired of the snow and annoyed that it took up another week of my life. It wouldn’t have been so bad except that shoveling snow doesn’t tend to happen in Edinburgh, and I don’t really enjoy traipsing through the snow on the sidewalks while I’m trying to get to Uni…tends to make the journey quite a bit longer. But the snow soon melted away, and I started my second and final semester of my Master’s degree. Courses include: Children, Childhood, and Children’s Rights: Law, Policy, and Practice; Listening to Children: Researching is Children and Young People; Philosophical Foundations of Educational Theory, Policy, and Practice; and I’m auditing a course called the Politics of Education and Educational Policy. Overall, it’s been quite interesting. Tons of reading with the option to do more reading than is physically possible, and random projects throughout the semester which aren’t marked and are really just for our edification. Wednesday, I have a presentation due: “Education’s Role in the Renewal of Society: Hannah Arendt.” Interesting, eh? Next steps: complete the last 2 weeks of the semester, write my final essay, and begin work on my dissertation.

Exploration: I’ve been fortunate enough to do a little bit of traveling in the UK this semester. David and I went to York and Scarborough a few weeks ago and had a great time. Both are lovely cities, and I would totally recommend both to anyone who wants to visit. We stayed at the Scarborough Grand Hotel, which was beautiful, right on the sea, and we had lovely walks around town. York was full of history, old buildings, and ancient city walls. Unfortunately, the castle is now longer there. Also, a beautiful place. Yorkminster: it’s amazing. And currently, I’m updating from London. It’s a magnificent city, but there’s no way to see everything in a mere couple of days. It definitely deserves a return visit. I have seen some pretty great things the last couple of days, though. David talk to a friend who works at Parliament about giving us a wee tour, so we got our personal guide around Parliament’s backstage. We even got to enter the House of Lords which was absolutely beautiful. We’ve had some nice walks along the River Thames, a brief stop by St. Peters Cathedral, a look at the Tower Bridge and London Tower, and we even saw “Wicked” in the West End last night. It was fabulous. It’s been a really good time, and I can’t wait until our next visit.

I’m not sure what else would be interesting to tell, so I suppose that’s me for now. Until next time, which will hopefully be sooner than May…

And I'll try to update my photos on Picasa as well: https://picasaweb.google.com/stephkruse

Attraversiamo

In Italian, this word means “Let’s cross over.” I know this because I’m watching “Eat, Pray, Love” while I’m flying over the Atlantic, on my way home after my first semester of grad school, and Liz Gilbert is sitting across the table from an Italian man, learning his beautiful language. It’s amazing what you can learn from movies these days. Sadly, though, it’s not so easy to learn the rest of the Italian language. That would require a bit more effort on my part. Maybe some day I’ll learn more than just English and a dead language.

Flying is really quite an experience. I’ve done it several times during the last month – Amsterdam, Paris, and now home. Every time, as we accelerate for take off and the pressure urges me to grip the armrests, I think, “The next few hours could change my life.” And every time, I’m right. During these hours, I’m transported over plains and across oceans, to towns of old and cities of love. What a life I’m so fortunate to have.

Just a moment ago, I glanced out my window and looked down toward our grand planet in all of her glory. I couldn’t see much, though – just a sheet of white spread over the ground, the clouds like sweet meringue spread over the earth. At first glance it’s difficult to tell whether I’m looking at clouds hiding the ground or a glacier sleeping on it. Amazing, right?

So, the last time I posted a piece of my life up here, I think I’d just gotten back from Amsterdam. Not a bad city, but compared to Paris, there’s no contest. So let’s talk about Paris.

Our flight to Paris was to leave at 8:30, so Deborah and I got to the airport by 7:00. This required us awaking at 5:30 and walking a mile to Waverly Bridge to catch the bus to the airport. The good new is that we got to airport in plenty of time. The bad news is that since we decided to fly Ryanair, we didn’t leave until 9:15, after having taken a 45 minute nap on the plane. C’est la vie, right? So we get to Paris – Beauvais (because Ryanair doesn’t actually fly into Charles de Gualle) and then have to catch a shuttle to Paris. Finally, by 2:00, we’ve arrived in the city of love, ready to embark upon a journey of understanding how it became labeled as such. It didn’t take long, as we walked down the Avenue du Champs Elysee to see the beauty the city hold – beauty greater than Louis Vouton and Chanel.

That first day, it was our stroll down Champs Elysee, our stop by Arche du Triomph, and our final destination of the Louvre that told us that we were in a really cool place. I mean, wow. I had absolutely no idea that the Louvre was so huge! It would take a week to get through it. And we only had a couple of hours. Don’t worry, though – we saw her – you know, Mona Lisa. Great job, Da Vinci.

That evening for dinner, we went to Tom’s. Quite possibly, you’ve not heard of Tom Haynes. I hadn’t until a friend of mine from Uni told me about his Sunday night dinners, and everyone is invited. He’s a native American who studied at the University of Edinburgh, started a couple of local theatres there and has been living in Paris for the last 35 years writing, publishing, and so many other things everyone wants to say they’ve done. For the last 30 years, though, he’s been hosting these dinners every Sunday night at his house in Paris, except of course the month of August when he’s in Edinburgh at the festival. It was such fun, going and meeting people from all over the world who, by word of mouth, a story on NPR, or however else, heard about Tom’s dinners. The free spirits of the world united in Paris.

The next day, we got a baguette, cheese, and dark chocolate from the local grocery store and had a delectable breakfast. And off we went on a day of exploration. We went down and saw Sainte-Chapelle and the Conciergerie. And then crossed the block to none other than Notre Dame, which was pretty breathe-taking. It was magnificent in size, and the stained glass was…oh there are just no words. Its grandeur. Wow. There’s a reason why this place is famous. After we wandered about for a bit, and they started Mass, we left Notre Dame and we to one of the most beautiful book stores, Shakespeare and Co. Antiquarian Books. The walls were covered, the desks were covered, there were piles on the floor. Nearly ever inch of that place was covered in books.

By this time, we’d gotten pretty hungry, so we stopped by a cute café and had a sandwich and then studies over a cup of coffee. I don’t think I’d mentioned this yet, but we both had major assignments due later in the week (4000 word essays, and I had the take-home exam from hell), so we took the opportunity to study some while we were there. After studying for a bit, we walked up to Basilique du Sacre-Coeur. It was a monument on a hill – so pretty lit up in the evening light – and it looked over the city below, shepherding the flocks over people below.

Now, it was time to meet our host for the next 2 nights. We decided it would be fun to couch surf! So we got on the Metro (something I must do at least once in every city I visit), and took the train down to Pierre’s place. He was super nice, and we went our to a Canadian Bar (yes, apparently there’s a Canadian Bar in Paris) and got wings and hung out ‘til pretty late, and I was beat. So we got back to his place and had a sleep, ready for the Eiffel Tower on Tuesday.

Due to the late night, we slept in a little bit, which was nice. But we were up by late morning and had 2 very important events on our list of things to do that day. No. 1 came first: crepes. We found this guy – we named him Jacque – who made crepes out of the corner of a restaurant. Oh my goodness, they were delicious. The next time I’m in Paris, I will go back there and have his crepes again. So good. Even better, while we were getting our crepes, it started snowing! It was so pretty! But the snow didn’t make the rest of our journey fun because, yes, we went to the Eiffel Tower! Unfortunately, because of the snow, the clouds were low, and we didn’t have a good view of the tower. And there was no point in going up because we wouldn’t have been able to see anything. So, after we’d seen the tower taken a couple of pictures, we went in search of a Starbucks, yes a Starbucks, so we could study, which we did all afternoon until we went to the Christmas market that evening. Overall, a decent day.

Wednesday, though, was dreadful. We got up at half 6 to leave by 7. We needed to be in Beauvais at 9:30, so we caught the 8:00 shuttle bus that took us from Paris to Beauvais. All of this early morning stuff was pointless, though. We got to Beauvais and couldn’t check in for nearly an hour. Once we did, though, and got through security (which was sooo unorganized), we sat in the gate area for ages to find out that our flight which was supposed to leave at 11:30 had been delayed until 1:30. Then 1:30 rolled around, and they told us it had been delayed until 5:30. Deborah and I were not too excited about this because we had assignments to finish, and we couldn’t work on them at the airport. I was tired of writing my essay by hand. Long, miserable story of a day short, we got on the plane by around 6:30 and departed for Edinburgh. Apparently, Ryanair didn’t have enough de-icing fluid for the plane coming over, so they had to wait until that was sorted. Good job, Ryanair, on being prepaired…

So there it is! My trip to Paris, and I would totally love to go back and see it again. Someday.

And now, here I am. I've crossed over (attraversiamo) the Atlantic, home again for the holidays. I’m super excited to be back and a little sad it’s only for a few weeks. But I am looking forward to getting back to all those things I enjoy across the pond. It’s a good think I like Edinburgh!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

The good news is that I'm consistent. The bad news is that I'm consistently bad about consistently updating my blog. But after the 4th nagging message from mom, I guess it's time to take a break from stats and write a quick bit. So currently I'm sitting in the lounge of the graduate school sector of the Crystal McMillan Building sipping instant coffee with borrowed milk.

As for the past couple of weeks, I've done a couple of exciting things, I mean beyond my normal exciting life that's oh so full of adventure and intrigue. Unfortunately, I have to refer back to my diary (translation: calendar) to remember what they are...

I think I mentioned in my last update that I was performing in a production of Amadeus at Bedlam Theartre here in Edinburgh. The show went really well, but after a week of long rehearsals and performances, I was glad it was over. I even got off the last night of the show to go to the Scotland vs. New Zealand RUGBY game!! The pregame show was complete with a piper band, fireworks, and the HAKA performed by the All Blacks. You must look it up on youtube. It's pretty cool and definitely would be intimidating if I was 10 feet away from those men while they were yelling at me and beating their chests - which is the intent. The game was very interesting - I had no idea what was going on - but I think I learned a lot. Unfortunately, Scotland played terribly and the All Blacks won 49-3. Even as an ignorant spectator, I could see that New Zealand completely outplayed Scotland. I was really hoping for at least one try (translation: touchdown), so that I could experience the stands of Murrayfield Stadium going wild. But no, that would happen the next weekend, when Scotland beat South Africa! Go Scotland! (South Africa is the #1 team in the world.) But I couldn't be at that game because I was in Amsterdam! Beautiful city, but not the one for me.

Lindsey and I left for Amsterdam last Thursday night. Leaving the city, we both felt as though we'd forgotten something and couldn't quite figure out why we were heading to the airport. I mean, it's not everyday that you can just hop on a flight to Amsterdam for a weekend trip. I felt like I needed to prepare, spend more than 10 minutes packing...or something. But there we were, boarding the plane at 6:30 and would be in Amsterdam in a couple of hours. I might as well have been flying to Miami, which wouldn't be so bad as I'm now in a constant state of cold.

So Amsterdam. I could say that the flight was uneventful, but that would be a lie - at least in reference to landing. Do not worry, the plane was not in collusion with Death, threatening a gravity-propelled decent into the Amsterdam airport. Instead, we had social turbulence in the back of the plane, instigated by a man who'd had too much to drink and wanted to use the bathroom after the "fasten seatbelts" sign had been turned on. To make a long story short, there was arguing, insults flung left and right, and in the end, after we were on ground, the police were invited onto the plane to escort the man off the flight. What a way to start the weekend...

In the Netherlands, their signs aren't in English, and we don't know Dutch. This made navigating the airport to train to city an interesting process. And after an extended stint on the plane waiting for the police to arrive, we were a bit tired. But now that we were in the city, we still had to tackle the task of finding our hotel. So we disembarked, went through 'customs', found Lindsey's bag, and made our way to the train station. Step 1 - done. Step 2 was a little more difficult because, as I mentioned before, the signs are in Dutch. Fortunately, the people were really nice. Eventually, we found the right queue, got our tickets, and (Step 3) made it to the platform just in time to join the confused crowd of people trying to get to Central Station. The platform we were on said the train didn't go to Central Station, and the other train was headed in the wrong direction! What to do?! Well, we decided to frantically pace the platform, check all the signs again, listen in on other confused people in conversation about how to get to our 'final' destination, and wait. So yes, eventually the correct train came, we got on and made it to the right place. But again, we still hadn't made it to our actual final destination - the hotel.

Step 4 - Get out the map. Again, look around at the hustle and bustle of others knowing (and not knowing) where they're going, and try not to look like a tourist. Let me tell you, this was an impossible feat. I asked a couple of police officers, who tried to be helpful but really weren't, and then we decided to rely on our brilliance and the map skills we learned in primary school. Lo and behold, after 40 minutes of wandering, stopping at every cross, and matching the street names to the mumble jumble on the map, we found our hotel. It was now after 11, and we were knackered. So we checked in, found our room, and decided to explore the city. Ha! We made it about half an hour before we returned and went to bed.

The next morning, we got up, grabbed breakfast, and headed into town to the Anne Frank Haus. It's a powerful place, and terribly sad. The museum, though, was very interesting. Otto Frank didn't just want it to be a display of their life of hiding and Anne's story. He wanted it to be a lesson about discrimination and the harm it causes. I would definitely recommend going if you make it to Amsterdam.

After leaving the Anne Frank Haus, we decided to go on a walking tour of Amsterdam. It really is a beautiful city. I can only imagine what it would look like in the spring with its canals and flower baskets full of blossoming tulips. Even in late November, Amsterdam was nice to us and gave us beautiful weather for the weekend. So, a few things I learned about the city while on the tour:

*The smallest house in Amsterdam is 1.3 meters wide.
*The widest bridge is over the old prison.
*They pull 25,000 bikes out of the canals every year due to people not locking their bikes up and a game called 'who can make the biggest splash?'
*The buildings lean, either due to poor engineering when built (and instead of fixing the foundation, they re-level the floors inside...) or because the Dutch decided to use the pulley system to list heavy items to the top floor of houses, so they built the house to lean forward so that those items wouldn't hit the side of the house as they were pulling them to the top.
*Rembrandt has an unmarked grave in Amsterdam because he was so poor when he died.
*The bikes don't stop. Really, the don't. No breaks and no gears because the city is flat, and tourists are used to stop the bikes...
*Holland has the largest people in the world.

So, interesting stuff. The rest of the weekend went along as such, exploring different areas of the city, eating a lot of food, eventually finding "I AMSTERDAM", and seeing Harry Potter!!! So good, I'll totally see it again. It might've even been the highlight of the trip...but all weekends come to an end, as did this one. We got up early Monday morning, made it to the train station, then to the airport, and eventually back to Edinburgh. I love Edinburgh, and I'm so glad to be back except that now I have work to do again.

This week has been full of catching up on reading, starting my final exam for stats, and stressing about how I'm going to get everything done. But alas, I suppose I will. Today, though, I'm taking a break to be thankful!

Over and out.

sdakfkl;sdhag;

And here, it's happening again. Two weeks and no update. Terrible track record. You may thank my mom for her little hints via addenda to emails or chats in Words with Friends reminding me that I haven't blogged in a while...

This afternoon, I walked from hanging out with some friends to the Crystal McMillan Building in George Square to check my email and do some work in my spare time this afternoon. I got into the microlab, which was packed with people printing articles and writing papers as the end of the semester encroaches upon us, sat down at a computer, and logged on. While waiting for the computer 'load my settings', I looked out the window to find that it was nearly dark and I could really only see the shadow of the trees against a navy sky. I glanced down at the clock on the computer, which said it was 4:40. Really? 4:40?? We're not even halfway through November and it's already darker sooner than it would be the shortest day of the year in Atlanta. A week an a half ago, it seems I blinked and the weather began to show its true character. Short days. Cold and windy. Rain. And all-around ugh. So thank goodness for a sunny day today, even though it was cold and windy and ended 2 hours ago.

I took my exam for Part 1 of my Core Quantitative Data Analysis class, aka Stats, last week. I got an A! Well, sort of. I got an 88. Their grading scale here is super messed up and makes no sense. Anything above a 70 is an A, just different degrees of A-ness. Either way, not bad for my first mark. Unfortunately, I left the exam feeling like I was finished with the course. Now let me tell you, it is no fun feeling like you're done with something only to have to remind yourself that you're actually only done with half of it, especially when it's statistical analysis. At least all I need to pass the course is a 12 on my final take-home exam. I don't think that'll be too much of a problem.

David took me to high tea at Prestonfield House in the south of Edinburgh last week. It was really fancy with peacocks in the front garden and a man with a kilt waiting with an umbrella to walk me to the front door (it was raining...). The house itself, I think, is nearly 400 years old. But there's a lot of extra history that goes along with the entire estate that I don't really know, so I'll just not say anything so as to avoid getting it wrong. Anyway, while wet, was quite nice, and I really enjoyed it. He did well to think that one up.

So, now comes the time that I really need to start thinking about my final essays. I don't think it will take me too long to actually write, but the preparation is going to be a doozy(sp?). Basically, I plan on reading more in the next month than I've read in the last year. Great. But I'm hoping it'll at least be interesting. Right.

I've been performing in a production of Amadeus at Bedlam Theatre the last couple of nights. It's running all week. They've done quite a good job with it, I think. It's just taken up a lot of time. I've realized that theatre people just don't have a concept of time. And I do. So, it's frustrating to show up for the dress rehearsal at 7:00 and then not start until 7:50. Typical, I suppose, but still annoying. But alas, only 2 more nights.

Okay, surely there's more that has happened the last couple of weeks, but I can't think at the moments. Work, work, and more work. Sleep. Eating occasionally. They gym when I find the time. The life of a student, I guess you could say. Now it's time to print off a few readings and head off to another performance of Amadeus.

Signing off!