My tachometer is broken.

I guess first things first...what's a tachometer?  For those unfamiliar with all of the little measuring instruments on the dash of your car that tell you what your engine is doing, the tachometer is the one that gives you the rpm (or revolutions per minute) your engine is making...granted there's a lot more that goes into it than that.  On average, your tachometer's needle should be resting somewhere between 2 and 3 for optimal running of the engine.  Well, mine doesn't do that.  Instead, the needle on my tachometer has rotated all the way around dial and is now measuring backwards, or counter-clockwise.  This used to be fine, when all I had to do was estimate the distance between 0 and 2.5 on the dial and flip that measurement to the other side of the starting point to see how my car's engine was actually functioning.  For the most part, it was fine, and I could estimate that the 2-3 inch arch was measuring correctly on the opposite side of the dial, in the wrong direction.  It worked.  But recently, the needle has been sporadic, swinging back and forth and never really settling anywhere.  Even more unfortunate, and initially worrying, when it does hold steady, it's actually shaking over "the red".

Perhaps, you're wondering why I'm telling you this.  Well, I had a revelation last week on my drive into the city that my tachometer shows a little bit of how my life feels.  So before, while my tachometer was working, only backwards, I knew that it was wasn't right, but at least I could gauge what it was saying.  At least it made sense.  But what am I to do with a stupid needle that can't hold still, that won't really tell me anything except that it's broken???  Unsettled and swinging sporadically on the wrong side of the meter, that need is leading me nowhere, and even more unsettling are the (too) occasional seizures it has over "the red".  Am I burning rubber in the wrong place and over-heating?  Time will tell.  The important thing to remember, I suppose, is that while I tachometer doesn't work, my car still does.  In other words, while I'm out of sorts and unsettled, my life still functions.  And just as my car can go in many different directions that can lead to an exponential number of destinations, my life can do the same.  It's the turns, detours, stops, and starts that determine my path - a path that is defined by the experiences along the way.  So where's my next turn?

And while I'm on a car/life analogy kick, I'll mention that one of the meters on my dash that does still work is the odometer - you know, the one that tells you how are you've traveled.  Interestingly, while it always tells us how far we've come, what it can't do is tell us how much farther we have to go.  So, I will drive on...

Still Alive.

Yes, I am aware it's been 6 months since I've posted. No, it's not still snowing in Edinburgh. So the update is that I completed the work for my master's degree, spent my summer writing my dissertation, and I am now back in Atlanta awaiting the results of my work. I even found time to go to Belfast, Italy, and the Highlands before returning home. But in the mean time, I'm going through my old stuff, throwing things away and donating old memories and forgotten gifts for the liberatingly cathartic embrace of these actions. Intermittent breaks include The Doctors over a cup of coffee (or 4) and crime dramas over a glass of wine. Occasionally, I'll find myself tickling the ivories, writing down impressively deep thoughts, or considering the job search. I'm even beginning to reintroduce myself to society by going to the park, joining the gym, and slowing contacting old friends to meet up with. At the moment, life is life. I suppose now it's a matter of deciding in which direction the story will continue. I'll try and keep you updated. Over and out.

Snow, snow, go away...

It's March 12, and I'm sitting here in Starbucks on St. Patrick St. (Oy, that's funny...abbreviations for saint & street...) looking out the window at the snow falling, covering the roofs of buildings with a soft white sheet and the roads with slippery gray slush. The faces of snow. However delightful some may be, at this point, I'd like them all to go away & let the sun come back out. Two days ago, on my walk up to the University, I felt like I'd traversed through all the climates of the world. As I stepped out of my flat, the sun was shining & all seemed well enough. As I turned the corner to my street, the clouds zoomed in & began to spit little drops of water on me, which soon turned into sleet & snow, which we in Atlanta like to call wintry mix (snow doesn't tend to grace the city much with its presence, and when it does, the city doesn't respond so gracefully). And then I turned the corner to the main street to take me up to uni. Clouds still overhead, I couldn't see a break, a mere glimpse of blue sky behind the gloom. And then, oh and then...hail. Yes, I began getting a beating by little pebbles of ice. Ouch. Worst part is, I didn't have a hood. I realize this might have been a silly decision on my part, but the sun was out! Well, I ducked my head hoping not to collide with anything, living or not, on my way up the road, and the all the sudden, it stops. Everything. I look up, and ahead of me, the skies are blue. Really? I think I counted 2 clouds in the sky. So along I walked, unzipping my jacket because the warmth of the sun made my layers unnecessary. From sun to hail and back to sun within a span of 10 minutes. Not quite sure I can get used to this. I'm just waiting for spring to really come: sunshine, beautiful flowers covering the ground, weather that doesn't require sweaters, scarves, and rain boots. Last week's spring tease was nice, but a tease was all it was. I really looking forward to the real thing.

But no worries, there's more to my life than just the weather. My second semester is coming to an end. Next week is my last week for 3 of my classes, & I have one more week after that of my philosophy course. It's been a really interesting semester, actually. I had no idea policy could actually be interesting. Well, I did, but the legalities and politics behind it have frustrated me and deterred me from it in the past. I'm still not sure I've come to a conclusion about it, but at least I've dipped in my big toe, perhaps even my foot, to get a feel for it. I might even go in as deep as my knee in order to write my final assessment for the course. I gave a presentation this past week in my Philosophical Foundations of Education class on what Hannah Arendt says about education's role in the renewal of society. There's some interesting stuff. Ponder this one: "Education is the point at which we decide whether we love the world enough to assume responsibility for it and by the same token save it from the ruin that which, except for renewal, except for the coming of the new and young, would be inevitable...and education, too, is where we decide whether we love our children enough not to expel them from our world and leave them to their own devices, not to strike from their hands the chance of undertaking something new, something unforeseen by us, but to prepare them in advance for the task of renewing a common world." So then, what's the answer? Even more interesting, she was writing this stuff about the crisis of education in America...in 1954. My question is, what would she say now?

In other news, the University Symphony concert is coming up this next Friday. It should be pretty good. We're playing Shostakovich's Symphony No. 10 and Neilson's Aladdin Suite, both good pieces, and if I'm not mistaken, we're playing the Pines of Rome next concert in May. It'll be nice to expand my repertoire with that one. I had some friends over to mine on Thursday for a pizza-making party, which was good fun. Heading to another friend's tonight for a pizza and movie night. Saw a film at the cinema and went to a ceilidh last night and am booked nearly every night this next week in the evenings with rehearsals, concerts, etc. It's going to be busy, but at least if won't give me a chance to be lazy, right?

Alas, it seems I've procrastinated enough. I have books to read and assignments to consider, not to mention those pesky little chores that need to happen occasionally to keep up with life. Off I go into the land of big words and smart thoughts. Here's to hoping I'll be able to find my way out a bit later! Cheers!

Life Continues...

It’s been ages, I know. Can I claim busyness? So since I haven’t updated anything since before Christmas, perhaps let’s have a brief timeline of the last 2 and a half months of my life:

Christmas holiday – I had a really good time back home with friends and family. It was good to see everyone I could again, went to a couple of weddings, and did a lot of work on an essay I had due just after I arrived back in Edinburgh in January. Details of Christmas break, perhaps, aren’t important; most importantly, it was good.

My return to Edinburgh – It snowed again, the day after I arrived back. Ugh, I was so tired of the snow and annoyed that it took up another week of my life. It wouldn’t have been so bad except that shoveling snow doesn’t tend to happen in Edinburgh, and I don’t really enjoy traipsing through the snow on the sidewalks while I’m trying to get to Uni…tends to make the journey quite a bit longer. But the snow soon melted away, and I started my second and final semester of my Master’s degree. Courses include: Children, Childhood, and Children’s Rights: Law, Policy, and Practice; Listening to Children: Researching is Children and Young People; Philosophical Foundations of Educational Theory, Policy, and Practice; and I’m auditing a course called the Politics of Education and Educational Policy. Overall, it’s been quite interesting. Tons of reading with the option to do more reading than is physically possible, and random projects throughout the semester which aren’t marked and are really just for our edification. Wednesday, I have a presentation due: “Education’s Role in the Renewal of Society: Hannah Arendt.” Interesting, eh? Next steps: complete the last 2 weeks of the semester, write my final essay, and begin work on my dissertation.

Exploration: I’ve been fortunate enough to do a little bit of traveling in the UK this semester. David and I went to York and Scarborough a few weeks ago and had a great time. Both are lovely cities, and I would totally recommend both to anyone who wants to visit. We stayed at the Scarborough Grand Hotel, which was beautiful, right on the sea, and we had lovely walks around town. York was full of history, old buildings, and ancient city walls. Unfortunately, the castle is now longer there. Also, a beautiful place. Yorkminster: it’s amazing. And currently, I’m updating from London. It’s a magnificent city, but there’s no way to see everything in a mere couple of days. It definitely deserves a return visit. I have seen some pretty great things the last couple of days, though. David talk to a friend who works at Parliament about giving us a wee tour, so we got our personal guide around Parliament’s backstage. We even got to enter the House of Lords which was absolutely beautiful. We’ve had some nice walks along the River Thames, a brief stop by St. Peters Cathedral, a look at the Tower Bridge and London Tower, and we even saw “Wicked” in the West End last night. It was fabulous. It’s been a really good time, and I can’t wait until our next visit.

I’m not sure what else would be interesting to tell, so I suppose that’s me for now. Until next time, which will hopefully be sooner than May…

And I'll try to update my photos on Picasa as well: https://picasaweb.google.com/stephkruse